Love and Esteem Needs: Sexuality and Identity
Adolescence is a tumultuous time because of the
sudden and intense need for love, belonging, and esteem. This is the time
period in which many teens embark on dating and sexual activity. Adolescent’s
self-concept and identity as well as how they are seen by their peers becomes
of utmost importance. Erickson says that the main crisis during this stage is Identity
v.s. Role Confusion. This crisis ties into both social and esteem needs since
the people that a teen associates with greatly inform his or her identity.
Because of their intense desire for peer approval, many adolescents are plagued by an imaginary audience that watches and judges their every move. Many teens also fall victim to peer pressure to drink, do drugs, and have sex. Unfortunately, having sex early doesn’t exactly fulfill adolescent’s love and belongingness need. In fact, early sexual experiences correlate with depression and drug use (Crouse, 2007). In order to achieve real love, belonging, and esteem, adolescents are faced with the challenge of finding their unique identity. This identity is composed mainly of religion, gender/sexuality, political/ethnic, and vocational characteristics. If they cannot form an identity, they may seek to please their parents and peers by foreclosing or engaging in moratorium. Others find themselves in a state of diffusion in which they have no idea what their identity is. Since according to Piaget, most adolescents are able to achieve the formal operational stage of cognitive development which allows them to think abstractly and problem solve, the majority of adolescents emerge from this difficult stage with a basic understanding of romantic love, identity, and how they fit into society.
For LGBTQ adolescents, this time period has some unique challenges. It is when they are faced with the decision of whether to accept and acknowledge their sexuality and gender identity or to attempt to deny and repress it. When families, friends and communities demonstrate unconditional love and support, the process of coming out of the closet is usually smooth and relatively painless. When they are not, however, the results can be tragic. In Utah for example, a high number of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ, about ten to twenty percent more than the national average (Jackson, 2012). They have either been forcibly kicked out of their homes or chose to leave because they couldn’t stand pretending to be someone else. The suicide rate for LGBTQ teens from unsupportive families is twenty percent higher than the rate for teens from supportive homes (Gilbert, 2011).
Although they can’t replace a loving home, some programs attempt to provide a buffer for LGBTQ adolescents. Gay-Straight Alliances are after school clubs designed to provide a safe place for teens to be themselves and make friends. Places like the Youth Activity Center at the Utah Pride Center also provide a safe haven as well as food and other basic needs.
We still have a long way to go as a society, but we have made a lot of progress. According to the Pew Research Center (2013), the millennial generation tends to be much more accepting of varying sexualities and gender identities than have past generations. The LDS church has made some positive changes to their attitudes towards LGBTQ people by creating a website meant to reach out to LGBTQ members “with love and understanding” (Farrington, 2012).
Most people would agree that adolescence is one of the most challenging of all developmental stages. This is due in part to a more complex set of needs. Unlike an infant, who will most likely be content as long as her belly is full and her diaper is dry, the adolescent experiences a strong need for love, belonging and esteem. If society changes some of it's attitudes in order to make these needs more attainable, we will surely see less teen depression, drug use, and suicide.
References
Crouse, Janice Shaw (2007, Jan 30). Teen sex leads to depression and drug use, Townhall.com. Retrieved from http://townhall.com/columnists/janiceshawcrouse/2007/01/30/teen_sex_leads_to_depression_and_drug_use
Farrington, Dana (2012, Dec 6). Mormon church launches website on ‘same-sex attraction’. The two-way, National Public Radio. Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/12/06/166687164/mormon-church-launches-website-on-same-sex-attraction
Gilbert, Kathleen (2011, Apr 29). Study: gay teens five times more likely to attempt suicide, LifeSiteNews.com. Retrieved from http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/study-gay-teens-five-times-more-likely-to-attempt-suicide/
Jackson, Rachel (2012, Nov 14). Homeless LGBT youth need attention, The Daily Utah Chronicle. Retrieved from http://www.dailyutahchronicle.com/?p=2579793
Pew Research Center (2013, Jun 11). Gay marriage: key data points from pew research. Retrieved from http://www.pewresearch.org/key-data-points/gay-marriage-key-data-points-from-pew-research/
Because of their intense desire for peer approval, many adolescents are plagued by an imaginary audience that watches and judges their every move. Many teens also fall victim to peer pressure to drink, do drugs, and have sex. Unfortunately, having sex early doesn’t exactly fulfill adolescent’s love and belongingness need. In fact, early sexual experiences correlate with depression and drug use (Crouse, 2007). In order to achieve real love, belonging, and esteem, adolescents are faced with the challenge of finding their unique identity. This identity is composed mainly of religion, gender/sexuality, political/ethnic, and vocational characteristics. If they cannot form an identity, they may seek to please their parents and peers by foreclosing or engaging in moratorium. Others find themselves in a state of diffusion in which they have no idea what their identity is. Since according to Piaget, most adolescents are able to achieve the formal operational stage of cognitive development which allows them to think abstractly and problem solve, the majority of adolescents emerge from this difficult stage with a basic understanding of romantic love, identity, and how they fit into society.
For LGBTQ adolescents, this time period has some unique challenges. It is when they are faced with the decision of whether to accept and acknowledge their sexuality and gender identity or to attempt to deny and repress it. When families, friends and communities demonstrate unconditional love and support, the process of coming out of the closet is usually smooth and relatively painless. When they are not, however, the results can be tragic. In Utah for example, a high number of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ, about ten to twenty percent more than the national average (Jackson, 2012). They have either been forcibly kicked out of their homes or chose to leave because they couldn’t stand pretending to be someone else. The suicide rate for LGBTQ teens from unsupportive families is twenty percent higher than the rate for teens from supportive homes (Gilbert, 2011).
Although they can’t replace a loving home, some programs attempt to provide a buffer for LGBTQ adolescents. Gay-Straight Alliances are after school clubs designed to provide a safe place for teens to be themselves and make friends. Places like the Youth Activity Center at the Utah Pride Center also provide a safe haven as well as food and other basic needs.
We still have a long way to go as a society, but we have made a lot of progress. According to the Pew Research Center (2013), the millennial generation tends to be much more accepting of varying sexualities and gender identities than have past generations. The LDS church has made some positive changes to their attitudes towards LGBTQ people by creating a website meant to reach out to LGBTQ members “with love and understanding” (Farrington, 2012).
Most people would agree that adolescence is one of the most challenging of all developmental stages. This is due in part to a more complex set of needs. Unlike an infant, who will most likely be content as long as her belly is full and her diaper is dry, the adolescent experiences a strong need for love, belonging and esteem. If society changes some of it's attitudes in order to make these needs more attainable, we will surely see less teen depression, drug use, and suicide.
References
Crouse, Janice Shaw (2007, Jan 30). Teen sex leads to depression and drug use, Townhall.com. Retrieved from http://townhall.com/columnists/janiceshawcrouse/2007/01/30/teen_sex_leads_to_depression_and_drug_use
Farrington, Dana (2012, Dec 6). Mormon church launches website on ‘same-sex attraction’. The two-way, National Public Radio. Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/12/06/166687164/mormon-church-launches-website-on-same-sex-attraction
Gilbert, Kathleen (2011, Apr 29). Study: gay teens five times more likely to attempt suicide, LifeSiteNews.com. Retrieved from http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/study-gay-teens-five-times-more-likely-to-attempt-suicide/
Jackson, Rachel (2012, Nov 14). Homeless LGBT youth need attention, The Daily Utah Chronicle. Retrieved from http://www.dailyutahchronicle.com/?p=2579793
Pew Research Center (2013, Jun 11). Gay marriage: key data points from pew research. Retrieved from http://www.pewresearch.org/key-data-points/gay-marriage-key-data-points-from-pew-research/